Okay, so MINUS the cycling to work. Headaches suck first thing in the morning, cycling to work with a sore lower body (lower body day on Wednesday) *and* a splitting headache, sucks more.

I spoke to a colleague from where I used to work, tonight. She's in the boat I expect to be in... but not quite. She's 41 and single, living on her own, going to work every day and hating life. In my future, I don't see the 'hating life' part. I'm going to take control of my own happiness. Mom's coming over this weekend, and we're going to hang out, etc... I don't have any problem saying "I'm not planning on getting married anytime soon" to her, anymore - because it's the truth.

If marriage happnes, it will happen because we are two people who compliment each other but have our own lives, interests and financial security. Sounds materialistic, but I don't want to lean on anyone - no more than I want someone leaning on me. It's not a relationship of equals when that happens. I have a relationship of equals right now, and it's gorgeous. Neither of us are ready to get married, though -- we're both still building our life experiences and setting up our futures. Who knows what the future brings in that regard? I might as well put my planning and dreaming skills to use on something that's attainable by me and me alone.

I can't believe how after one week, beginning with a talk with George and followed by a few days of soul-searing soul searching, I feel so completely different. I feel satsified, but not satisfied to sit still and let life *happen* to me. I feel at peace, but restless - ready to go out and take on myself and the world. I expect to have my bad days, still... but fewer of them - and hopefully I will be able to recognize them coming on, and do something constructive to change them into good days.

And now I am going to go do cardio. I must, I must, I must decrease my butt... okay.. so that's not how it goes. ;-)

KICK ASS!