Feeling under the weather just slightly... a slight chest cough - I hope it doesn't escalate. Feeling confused as ever, holding on to two ideas instead of letting go of one and focusing on the other... it's really diffucult to live this way. There is no hope in one direction and less in the other. Especially if the truth of how I've been feeling comes out... will it? Should it? Am I evil? I feel evil, but not in the good way.

If we are not for ourselves, who will be for us?
If we are only for ourselves, what are we?
If not now, when?

-Rabbi Hillel. 2000BCE