A wonderful week with Ariosa in Nelson and now I'm heading down to Vancouver with her so I can go and help some friends of ours with their packing and moving to Kaslo. Whee. =)

We're working on the crap, by the way. I brought it up and we're both willing to admit we have crap. That's the first step. Being willing to admit that we need help with our crap is an awesome second step. We'll make it.

Sometimes I wonder why I put up with your crap. I know I have crap of my own, you sometimes put up with it and sometimes don't... sometimes my crap triggers yours or vice versa. Still, I sometimes wonder why I put up with your crap. There is so much positive in our lives for you to be so negative all the time. I care about you so much... I WANT you so much... but I don't feel that coming back from you, except ever so seldom and usually it's when I ask you to tell me, or show me... and even then it doesn't happen each time I ask. Why does my heart break when I look at you and feel so much desire for you? Because I don't think the feeling is reciprocated. Maybe it is, but I sure don't feel it. Why not? I look at a stranger, admiring a tattoo, or the line of a muscle... and I get more joy. That's not right. What can I do to stop feeling this way?

Friends and family galore invading our home... and I'm loving it. We went down to the lakeside today and swam and sunned and lolled and laughed. It was fun and relaxing. It's great when you live in a place that people come to for vacation. You get to spend time unwinding with all your guests. Anyone else want to come visit? We'll have a free bed in a couple of days... =) Ariosa and M's sister's family are here. It's nice to cook for people. Make ice cream for people. Go to Baker Street and Lakeside Park with people. Share the peace and small-town-ness with people. There are, however, three small forest fires burning in the near vicinity. They seem to be well in hand, so no worries. We'll keep checking the news to make sure we don't have to go anywhere. That'd suck. I'd best pay my insurance, now, hm? Tomorrow. For certain.

e. What fun.