Things got better the next morning, as I thought they might, but it's getting harder and harder for me to feel like I'm loved. And I can't have sex with someone who I think doesn't love me, or make any effort to give me what *I* need. I'm trying my pants off, but it feels like he's punishing me or holding out on me, or just plain being selfish most of the time. No help with dishes... or cleaning up the house, his self-chosen duty of firewood doesn't get done... and I get berated for "doing too much" but if I mess up with something and don't let him know he gets cold with me. I just don't know what to think. I feel like I have a child and I don't WANT him as my child because that's just not sexy AT FUCKING ALL. *sigh*

I feel like he wants a 'dutiful wife' who will sleep with him, cook and clean for him AND go out and make more money than he does. I'm not that. I don't ever want to be that. I want to be a partner who is cared for and cares back. Nurture ME GODDAMMIT.

I'm frustrated and just can't figure this out on my own.