The desire for someone to dote on me. Someone to tell me that I make living worthwhile. Someone to touch me in a way that is so tender, so connected... someone to woo me, to seduce me, to pamper me, to look after me. To do the little things that I would appreciate so much... clean the sink, bring me flowers... it doesn't have to be much... it doesn't have to be every day... just once in a while... take me aside, look deep into my eyes, tell me how much I mean to you... do I mean something special to you? Please just tell me. Show me. It's not that I forget... it's just that I sometimes need to hear it again. I melt when I hear it. Make me melt?

The wonder diminishes, the connection fades so easily... I am the one who maintains it. It's hard work. I want some help. I want some relief. I want to be shown that I am appreciated. It does no good if it's all inside you... Despite my many other abilities... I still can't read minds. Or hearts.

I just want to cry for a bit. Maybe a powerful movie will do it... I need something to take my mind off of this, or I won't get any sleep tonight for pining. Finish the laundry in the morning. Wear the same underwear again tomorrow until I have some that is dry. Hahahaha! Incoherent. Time to get off the computer and stop looking here for what it cannot possibly provide.