Home again and things are going well. There were some moments of angst as my "expectations" for what my greeting would be when I got home weren't "met". Stupid expectations. Having them and giving them power over me sure makes life miserable! I realize that I have a man who loves me VERY much. We talked yesterday... and it was good. Emotional needs are even more important that physical needs in my world - and even harder to meet. The problem is (I think) that part of me is still worried that this new life direction isn't "legitimate"... I feel guilty about the fact that I will be going to school for three years to learn to do something that I love to do. Pretty messed up, no? Pretty normal, too - considering the way I was brought up and the way I react to the world. "I'm wrong, everybody else is right." Is pretty much my normal state of being. I'm working on realizing and altering that. I can also hardly wait for school to start so that I have a more scheduled existence for a while. I"m ready to work hard at it and divvy up the household stuff. So's Matthew. He envies me going to school, but he totally feels it's legitimate. He rocks.

And on the weight loss front... things have slowed down (cuz I've been eating too much level two) but I am now down another 5 lbs! 170/150/140!! Ten more to go! I've been strictly level one the last two days and I will be for the next few weeks. No cheesecake, even - cuz I've found that slows my weight loss. I will make it just before school, however - cuz it's great to take in a lunch and I'll be walking to school every day. I do have to come up with something yummy to take for lunch. I wonder if the school has a microwave or something I can use to heat up a hot lunch? I guess we'll see.