A Story: I didn't do my Morning Pages for 3 days. I started to freak out about Life, The Universe and Everything. I did one page out of three this morning (so far) and suddenly things don't seem NEARLY so bad.

The Moral: Morning Pages are my brain's very best friend.

In other news:

Yes.. the "new beau meeting the parents weekend extraveganza" happened on Saturday.. amidst the 65th birthday party for my Aunt and my mother meddling in the cousin to cousin mini-fued that my brother and cousin are embroiled in. Neither of them asked for her help. Of course. Mom says "He's fine" when I ask what she thought of Matthew. Course, she's embarassed that she got overly tipsy in the hot tub and could barely walk afterwards.. I've never seen her like that -- must have been the stress of the twenty minute confrontation she initiated with my cousin. Why? Oh why? I may never know.

Before the confrontation, my mother chatted with M. and seemed to get along well with him. My Dad, as usual, was quiet and just watching everything that was going on around him. I didn't realize that he was IN on my Mom's verbal assault on my cousin until she came back to the table and, between sips of wine, told my Dad all about it while he lent a sympathetic ear and my brother rolled his eyes at her.

I speak to her today and ask her a favour... could she look after Rainy... from the get-go I fear the tone of her voice when I call. She sounds tight and wound up. Unhappy about something - but what? She tells me about the stomach troulbes she's been having for the last 2 months and how she's got to go in for nasty tests this week - and blames her strange state on that... I'm probably reading way too much into this,in fact I know I am. She's agreed to look after the puppy if I make sure that the groomer can take care of her in the morning rather than the afternoon. I should relax. I know she'll come around eventually... wish I could just not have everything I do in my life that she doesn't approve of be a huge stress point between us. I guess that's mostly up to her, though, when it comes down to it.


And I wonder, at times, why I'm so fucked up?