Time cannot go quickly enough while I'm at work. It's just DRAGGING today.

Maybe if I actually try to do some work it'll speed the day along until 3:30 when I can leave to pick up M. So far no takers on pager. I'll just say "fuck it" and sleep in next week if I get paged -- it's Ross's fault for scheduling me at 6am!! I NEED MY REST!

So... the business of life continues and the mental/emotional/spiritual? revelations materialize and solidify in my consciousness and cease to slide in and out. These things become more concrete day by day... talking about them helps -- had a great long talk with George tonight. Hope I helped him. =) He rocks.

Going to have a fairly relaxing weekend.. as long as I can get rid of pager.. ;-) Hopefully I can... because really the money isn't nearly as important as my health... which hasn't been so uber stable lately. For one thing, I'm gaining weight (my own non-diet-conscious non-exercising fault) but this lack of exercise and poor diet are weakening my immune system... add to that an unhealthy desire to stay up to all hours of the morning spending time with M. and you have a recipe for health disaster. I'm spending more time at home this week (and this weekend) and next week my bro is away so I'm obliged to come home and let my doggie out right after work as well as feed his cat. Sadie is cute as a bug. as the plans to head to Seattle have temporarily fallen through. I'll watch my new LoTR DVD with M (who hasn't seen it yet?!?!!), spend time with him here, go for a hike, build closet shelves and hopefully play some softball. =) But not do much else.

At any rate... I'm sleepy. It's time for bed.

George. Remember, you ROCK! Don't ever let anyone else make you feel like you don't!

Kimli makes me smile and laugh. Loudly. With snorting. It's no wonder I can't read her at work!

I love M.

Had a fantastic vacation. I want to move to Kaslo.

Problem is, I'm already feeling overwhelmed by work and the general hectic-ness of life. It's been 2 days since my vacation. So... I've decided to simplify. The first step will be cancelling all credit cards but one. I have yet to decide which one gets to stay a part of my life... but I WILL cancel all the rest. Step two: Cancelling all "rewards programs" cards and "club cards". Of course, I'll get some free goods from them with my points, first... ;-) But after that... I don't want my spending habits to be tracked anymore or have to dig through 250,000 cards in my wallet to get 40 cents back and 10 points. Forget it.

I want to move to part time work. I suppose that I can... but I have to decide whether or not it's in my best interests to do so. My health would likely be better, my emotional state, my standard of living... but working full time will get money for my dreams faster... I will start with the first two things and see what happens. I love my job... but only for 8 hours a day.. when it goes overtime like it did today -- it's the suck. I don't get paid any extra for staying... so why did I? Especially when it stressed me out so much. The good thing is, I made it through the stress without breaking down... it was close -- but the 1.5 hour drive home gave me tons of time to ponder life, the universe and everything. Seeing a car flipped upside down with fire-fighters working to free the people inside kind of put things in perspective a bit, too.

Simplify.

Well, it is sadly already time to leave Calgary... Yesterday was busy. M. and I went and found a BMX tire for his bike - then we found our way to the Calgary Zoo - really an amazing experience and worth the price of admission.... then we visited the Calgary office of MEC (where M. works in Vancouver) and to top it all off Kim and Ed and M. andI had Thai food at the place where everyone celebrated Ali's birthday... it was fantastic. =) There were at least 3 other birthday celebrations going on there when we were there this time, too. We then went for Ice Cream at Phillips... and though I love Green tea ice cream... this one was a kind that they add the leaves to... that always kind of weirds me out... but it was good in spite of it. M. had one scoop of Khalua and one of Pralines and (insert some other kind of nut that I forget the name of here). He really seemed to enjoy it. ;-) Kim is hotter than ever and Ed is pretty cute, too. He gives good hugs, does my bro. Need more of those when they move to the lower mainland next year.

I wish M. could come to Las Vegas with us... I will be the only chick without my mate... but $$$ always conspires against us. Dunno if he'll be able to swing it. Likely not. Poo.

Wow, I had forgotten what a room at jome with multiple computers in it could sound like! HUMMMMMMMMM...

Are my thoughts disjointed? Perhaps. It's only because I have to leave Calgary soon. Heading for the glories of Banff will ease the pain, though only a little bit.

Illuminares was great fun, but this week (so far) travelling to the Kootenays has been even more fun. I'll update more from home.. probably.. if my brother ever stops downloading songs from the net! Heck, I can update while he downloads, so I will. Pictures and everything. Right now I am at the lovely and delectable Kim's and the silly and brother-like Ed's apartment in Calgary! We drove all the way here in the Old Beast (car that my grandparents bought new, my mom then owned and gifted to me) with a stop in the Slocan Valley and Nelson. I'm in love with Nelson... one day maybe I'll move there... if I can find a job there that I'd love to do. More details will follow but I want to go eat Thai food with everyone, now. HUNGRY.

Tonight M. and I are going to venture down to the Illuminares Festival. I've wanted to go to this thing for years, and always managed to forget each year until hearing about how magical it was a few days after the fact! NOT THIS YEAR! I don't have a lantern, but I have a magical dress and a glow stick. Next year I will create a fabulous lantern for it... maybe I will create many fabulous lanterns and figure out a performance! We'll see... magical night.. here I come... take me away to a place I've never been before...

I think I'll go vaccuum and wash the car and then finish putting things away in my room.

So I'm home tonight. I just felt awful this morning but managed to struggle through the day... it kind of looks bad when you take a sunny Friday off just before you take vacation. ;-) Plus.. I had stuff to do at work.

So... the past few weeks in a nutshell:

After the McKesson/ALI Acquisition BBQ and Celebration at UBC's Museum of Anthropology I was supposed to go to the weekend outdoor portion of a St. John Ambulance Wilderness First Aid course... but I had a monster sore throat, so I rescheduled for August. I spent the weekend curled up in M.'s bed while he made me tea and brought me cold medication... all the while with me protesting "I should go home, I'm going to make *you* sick." What did the greatest guy in the world say in return? Something wonderful along the lines of... "No, cuz then you'd be all alone and we're going to make each other sick sooner or later, anyway. You're staying." Can I say melt? Oh yes, indeed. The "cold that never manifested" turned out to be a nasty case of strepp throat, which I realized on Tuesday morning at about 1:30am. The pain started on the previous Thursday night.. but me thinking it was just a cold coming on... didn't go to the doctor until I couldn't swallow or sleep for the pain at 1:30 in the morning. Resourceful me, I found the phone book and discovered that we have a local hospital with an emergency room. They gave me pain drugs (that didn't really work, but the fact that I had started to take care of the problem helped me sleep) and antibiotics and a prescription for more.... My throat is a bit sore again... because I didn't *quite* finish the antibiotics. I hope I didn't mess myself up big time. I'm finishing them off again. All the bloody way this time.

Last weekend's Wilderness Survival Course:

This was a hoot, except I think the antibiotics made me a bit ill... because both days I felt nauseous and light headed during and after hiking. We learned what we should bring on a day hike in case we are stuck out overnight and we learned to improvise what we didn't bring... where to find/make/set up shelter, getting water, saving food, etc.. We set up tarps in all sorts of different ways. The weather was perfect, unfortunately..... we would have learned even more had it been nasty out. This did afford a gorgeous view of the nearly full moon and stars from a ridge near where we stopped. I saw two shooting stars and tons of sattelites lying on my back on the spongy dry moss. Fantastic. Magical. Wish M. had been there to share it with me. Slept pretty darn well in my tarp shelter, too.

Coming up:

The bike tour of the Gulf Islands that became a road trip to Calgary via Nelson, BC. A road trip because I haven't got enough recent mileage on my bike to be able to ride far every day and enjoy it and because I want to see Kim and Ed. Nelson because my birth mom lived there when I was born and because M. grew up near there until he was about 12 or so... We are going to stay just a few minute's walk from their property. We'll explore the Slocan Valley a bit maybe a day and a half's worth... and then drive over the Rockies to Calgary to see delicious and juicy Kim! She, as you know if you read her blog (which you should because it's infinitely more entertaining than mine and I link it to the right over there.... --> ) is getting married in September and all of her bridesmaids live miles away. I'm the closest and I'm on the west coast of B.C.! I figured it would be awesome to see she and Ed before the hustle and bustle of wedding week and I want to introduce M. to everyone!

But time for bed. I'm tired and still sick. I want to be healthy for the trip!

Congratulations to Laura and Jeff!! They had a beautiful baby boy on July the 5th!! Welcome to the world Zachary Liam! I'm sure you will amaze us all. So beautiful!

I have ADSL! But I'm not home for the next few days... ;-) 700 pieces of junk mail later....

ADSL still not quite there... hence the lack of updates.

One thing I would like to re-iterate... and that is that the SMOKER that sits beside me SUCKS! I love it when he goes outside for a smoke and then comes back in right after he's finished his last PUFF of smelly cigarette... and sits down to let the foul aroma of burnt cigarette smoke waft over me like a cancerous wave. Just love it.

I tell him about it, too. "You stink". I mumble "stinky boy" to myself (loudly enough that he can hear me). He's such an ass. Ah well... one day I won't have to put up with him.. maybe we'll move groups around sooner rather than later and I won't have to sit beside stinky cancer stick boy any more. Wouldn't that be loverly. Oh yes, it would.

Oops forgot to publish that last bit when I wrote it... More details on the Wilderness First Aid Weekend That Was Not and Other Exciting Tales will follow....


I get ADSL tomorrow. I hope.

Whew. Busy.

I've barely had a moment to myself the last week... and this weekend is going to be crazy as well. I got my CPR 'C' certification last night... as well as the beginnings of a cold... :-/ Meh. I'm fighting it with a cocktail of chemicals. Vitamin C 1000mg and some Pseudophedrine Hydrocholride 30mg Dextomethorphan Hydrobromide 10mg and Acetaminophen 250mg. I still feel like crap, however. Must be the whole 'lack of sleep' thing I've been doing to myself lately... and there's no end in sight. Company BBQ tonight (I at least have to go and grab some free food) - First Aid tomorrow and Sunday from 8:30am to 5:00pm. Ugh. Then Wilderness Survival on Monday night (followed by a field trip overnighter next weekend). I have to find a tailor, get measurements taken and order a sexy dress to wear for sweet, sexy Kimli and downright nasty Ed's wedding.. then, I can relax... a bit. Have to plan for the last week of July that I have off to go bike touring on Mayne Island with M. That, at least, can be as tough or as relaxing as we want it to be. I want relaxing. I want to go to a location and stay for a couple of days. Not do anything. Not have to BE anywhere. Just chill out and enjoy the vibe of being with M. and NOT being at work. Hallelujah.

August I don't want to plan ANYTHING.. but I'm sure I will at some point. ;-)

For now.. I just want to feel better. I have to go back to Maple Ridge tonight to get some things for the First Aid trip and get as much sleep as I can. Meh.

On the emotional front, things have never been better. I feel strong as an individual but I have someone in my life who give me thrills to think about and even more thrills to see and touch and walk with and talk with and... and... and... yet I can be on my own and not be thinking only of going to see him or be with him or "is he with someone else while I'm not with him?" or any of the other stupid time-wasting, insecure shit that I used to do.

For those of you who miss me online: I will have internet access on or about the 15th of July. I miss you guys. IRC port is blocked at work, and I have WAY too much to do anyway.

On another note I spent too much money yesterday. CD Burner. Sony CLIE PDA (Still trying this one out). DVD (Wallace and Grommit - all thier movies on one DVD plus extras!). Telus Quick Start ADSL modem and startup kit. Miscellaneous IKEA stuff.

But alas, work calls... So... down to it!

Oh, and in case you hadn't guessed it before now.... I think M. rocks. ;-)

Ahhhh... the move is done, now to the unpacking! My brother was an awesome help - getting the 1 ton work van and driving all over heck and gone with me to retrieve my things. M. met us in Richmond... he rode his bike and ended up flatting just after the Oak Street Bridge and having to walk the rest of the way to storage. He made it and his help and hugs and kisses were MUCH appreciated.

I'm window impaired. When opening the window in my new bedroom I managed to give myself an injury that inspired a fantastical "OwFuck!" dance. I slid the window open quickly and trapped my thumb between the window frame and the sliding window. It bruised one side and sliced the other. "OW! FUCK!" was said many times, with me dancing to the bathroom to run it under cold water. It's doing well. Ow. Fuck.

More things retrieved from Storage yesterday... I need to find a place to put all the food that I brought with me to my bro's. I wonder if Ikea sells portable pantry cupboards. I'm sure they do.

Things yet to do:

1. Buy food.
2. Unpack everything and find homes for it all.

To facilitate that I will need to:

3. Build some shelves in my closet to store gear on.
4. Build some shelves in my bedroom to store books on.
5. Buy or build a pantry cupboard in the kitchen for extra storage.

I also want to:

6. Add some candle/tealight shelves to one wall in my bedroom.
So much to do!

Argh. Work!

Whew! I managed to get tomorrow off - so in celebration of Ali's birthday painting can get done and most of the packing, too. Go me! I'm taking it as a vacation day, but what the heck! I'll have more comp days by the end of the year to make up for it. I still have some vacation left, too.

Anyway...


Here I am at work where everyone is whining like a bunch of babies. "They don't pay us enough." "I used to make more money at my old job, I had to take a pay cut to come here." What some of them don't seem to realize is that "taking a pay cut" is not even remotely the same thing as "being laid off". When you're laid off, you're worth whatever you can GET at a new job. If it sucks so bad, why don't you just LEAVE. Find that glorious new position that will pay you what you think you're worth! Just please. Please. PLEASE!!! Stop being so whiney.

I'm still revelling in the glory of not working in Pet Food retail. While that was fun, and I was happy, it wasn't a job where I could save any amount of money towards my future!! This one is and I am! Yay! I still feel blessed to work here, though sometimes (like right now) I slack off a little bit. I try not to surf from here, but on really slow afternoons or during lunch I sometimes sneak a peek at my favourite weblogs... Hum dee dum...

Tomorrow will rock. Get up early. Get cracking. Pack things. Move things. Paint things. Whee!

I'd best clear up some things before heading over to my new home at 6. La la laaaaa....

So far so good on the cell phone. It's still working and I've had it plugged in and turned on all day. Woo! Hooray for the saving money!

I have pictures up here and here. Wildwood was the first day, Walbran the second. They're not captioned or titled or thumbnailed or *anything* just yet. I just don't have time to do it this week month. I'm that busy (hooray!) I'll have to slow down in August or something...

Back to work.. I have so much to do.

This week:

Tonight: Go to my bro's and give him my portion of the damage deposit.
Wednesday: Go to home depot and get paint.
Thursday: Hopefully paint (woo faux finish and NO MORE apartment beige!)
Friday: Organize what I need in storage to make moving easier on Saturday.
Saturday: Move!!

In amongst all this I should be studying my First Aid and Win2k MCSE stuff... though First Aid is way more interesting right now... I also have to start getting more rest, eating better (planning my damn lunches) and getting some exercise. I will probably ride my bike every night so I can get my butt ready for M. and I's cycle tour of the Gulf Islands at the end of the month!

Whew!

Back home alive and well from Wildwood tour and Walbran hike. Long. Long. Day. Yesterday. Slept. Slept. Slept. Today. Felt pretty wasted this morning and called in sick. I would not have been any good to anyone even if I had come in. I thought when I went to bed that I'd feel a lot better than I did when I woke up -- plus with the evil hormonal imbalance that is my period arriving today... it just made for an all-around bad day mentally and physically. We ended up *just* making the last ferry from Duke Point to Tsawassen... I was driving and it was a miracle we didn't crash.

At least today was spent in the company of my dear M. I helped him a bit with his move preparation by packing up the bathroom and giving it a scrub. Not as clean as I'd like to have made it, but physically, I wasn't feeling my best. He understands but says he has no concept of what it must be like to have the evil cycle. I feel SO disjointed physically and emotionally. Crying at the drop of a hat and sort of drifting through the day... hopefully it'll be a lot better tomorrow.

Funny thing happened on Friday. I dropped my cell phone in the toilet. SPLOOSH!! SUbmerged cell phone. It shut down on it's own, must have short circuited... I shook the water out as best I could and tried it that night... the vibrator function was working well. When it wasn't supposed to. I've let it dry for 3 days, now... and this afternoon... it actually WORKED! I'll tentatively try it again tomorrow and see what happens. It might be time for a new one... if this "working" state doesn't continue.

I'm sleepy. It's time for bed. I'll post pictures another time..

I began this post yesterday about 15 minutes before I left work... but I'm changing it completely and actulally posting it today!

Hmm... so much to say...

First the haircut blog:

Went for dinner and conversation with Tusker on Tuesday cuz she's moving to the island.. had amazing Thai food at Simply Thai. Oh. Yum. I've been there 3 times in the last 2 weeks! I'd better cut that out... time to save money and make my own at home.

Met up with my brother and his roomie (soon to be my roomie, too) to talk about the upcoming move into the house in Maple Ridge. It's both larger and smaller than I thought. Certain aspects are bigger, and certain ones are smaller. =) We arranged what needs doing, what needs bringing and what needs buying. They're happy I'm coming to live there and that their current roomies ( a couple ) are moving out. Apparently they're really messy. Hope they can deal with me!

I had a quick visit with M. before heading out there... all too brief and made bittersweet by the fact that I have a cold sore and couldn't return his kisses... oh the sweet, sweet torture! It'll heal soon. Hopefully before this weekend. We're going to the island with a group of his co-workers for a tour of Wild Wood - an amazing example of ecoforestry - and the Carmanah valley. Camera and dog in tow, I go. Tent snugglies at night. =)

Enough of the haircut... here's the real news!

I spoke to George at length over ICQ last night... He has met someone, too! We both shared a bit about our new love interests and congratulated each other - heck, I even tried to give him what advice I could about how to make sure he wins her heart (he asked for it, it wasn't unsolicited advice). =) I'm so glad that we talked about it. He was the brave one, asking me if I had met anyone yet... I admitted I had and asked him the same question. I was surprised but very pleased to learn that he's found someone he's interested in. Closer to his age, too! George and I will always be good friends. I know I can count on him, and he knows he can count on me. This is a first in my life as far as ex-es goes... I'm very happy about it. *bounce*

Now to get my parents used to the idea that George isn't coming back and I've found someone else who makes my heart and mind and soul filppy flop in the best possible way. I'll introduce them over the moving weekend. =)

Opinion time:

I'm upset about our medical system. I feel betrayed. I thought our system was so wonderful... care for everyone! State supported health! An equal level of care for all. But it's not. It's already a two-tier system. If you have money, you can get tests and care and specialists... but if you don't... you get run of the mill tests, care and specialists -- and you can go for years not even knowing what you're suffering from. If they don't fix you up, they still get paid. If they don't figure out what you've got. They still get paid. If you die. They still get paid.

I wonder if there are better medical care systems out there to model ours on... I need to do some research into Eurpoe and beyond. This is just. Plain. Wrong.

ARGH!!

I will be moving out of here soon. I will be moving out of here soon. I will be moving out of here soon.

I will not be made to feel like a child every day. I will not be made to feel like a child every day. I will not be made to feel like a child every day.