*begin rant*

Here I sit, blogging. This usually only happens when things go bad and I can't take it anymore. Such is the case today. I've been feeling neglected, unappreciated and resentful for a while, but somehow I hope that it will change and things will be satisfactory for me... instead of learning from the past and realizing that I need to change my behaviour in order to get what I want. So this morning, I hit the breaking point. Again.

Over coffee.

He won't grind any because he hates the grinder - that's fine, I'll do it. So I do it and make coffee for him and don't realize that he's already put some water into the machine. He comes outside where I'm watering the plants and the grass and generally barely keeping on top of maintenance because he does NONE and asks "Did you make 8 cups?" I say no, I made 6. He says in an angry, accusing voice, "Well, I already put four cups of water in there. I guess I'm not drinking any." I told him not to get pissy about it it was an honest mistake - he just stayed pissy. I tried to tell him I didn't realize it, "You should have looked". Then he asks me if I've sent any more mugs to our friends store in Waterton. Had I known I was supposed to, I would have!!!!! Nobody told me. Jerk.

FUCK YOU!

Why do I do ANYTHING for this man?

Now, it doesn't help that I'm 7 months pregnant and still doing EVERY FUCKING THING. He just doesn't GET IT! He didn't even take his cell phone with him today so I can't call him and tell him off. So I called his work and asked them to get him to call me. I hope he's thought about his attitude. I'm getting really, really sick of it and really really resentful. Not good in a marriage with a baby 2 months away.

*sigh*

*end rant*

How cool is it when your horses hear you coming and call out to you with big whinnies, then come from wherever they are in the paddock to see you and they don't even think you're bringing them food? Very cool.

How cool is it when your baby does somersaults in your belly? At 6 months, very cool... we'll see how that feels at 8 months. ;-) Yowch?

How cool is it when you finish working at 10:30pm and then spend 2 hours browsing facebook? Not very cool. Time for bed.

So. There's more to being pregnant than meets the eye. Mostly in the wiggly human octopus in your belly department. At least for me. It's a really neat feeling and at first all I wanted was more, more, MORE of it! I still do at times, especially when I'm chilling on the couch and want to see the baby poke my belly out.

However....

What they don't tell you about being pregnant is that baby can kick you in the bowels. Causing you to fart. Uncontrollably! Thankfully this occurrance is rare, thus far. But still. Hilarious.

I'm back working in the studio, making jugs of all sizes today and tomorrow, then maybe on to teapots, or I might develop a sugar bowl to go with my creamer. Could be a good idea. I also need to make some pendants. Lots to do!

Around the house, the garden is planted, though it's not fenced and it's not all sifted. Huge job. We borrowed some help and a quad and trailer to clean the manure buildup out of the horses' paddock. 3 years is a lot of shit! Now we have wonderfully composted manure for the garden and all of our friends' gardens.

I'm painting the doors in the house - when we moved in I thought I should and just lived with it until now. Today is the 2nd coat and the first coat was already such a difference!

My parents are coming mid June for a visit and Mom and I will paint and re-do the cats' room - turning it into the baby's room. I'm looking forward to that - we need a place to store all the baby stuff we're starting to collect... plus I think it will make it seem more real. I'm going to go with pale yellow and blue/violet trim. We'll re-do the floors afterwards and hopefully find some fabric to go with the colours and make some nice curtains, etc. Should be fun.

I now have a belly on me. True story. It's only going to get bigger!

Off to paint..

End of a week without Matthew. He's been working in Invermere - and I think he's very tired by the sound of his voice. He's coming home tomorrow (I think), though, I haven't heard from him tonight and that usually means he's on his way. I guess I'll call him and find out.

I had chicken pot pie for dinner from Save-On Foods. Such comfort food, so easy. Better for baby and I than the trifle and popcorn I had for dinner last night!

Still... I am going to have trifle for dessert. ;-) Off I go!

Whew. Tiring day. Most days are kinda tiring, now - by 3:30 or 4 I need a nap, but usually don't take one. Bad me.

Belly still growing, occasionally feel baby moving inside, just flutters or little tiny pokes, but nothing to keep me from sleeping or cause me pain, yet.

I worked all day and then went to a baby shower for a friend of mine tonight. It was fun and good to see her again - but it felt weird not to be home and working on my own stuff. Tomorrow I will be around a fair bit, but still going to town for a few things (midwives appointment) and to take the motorbike in to have it's valves done? At least that's what Matthew told me to have done. I like not knowing some things and not needing to know. It keeps life interesting and relaxing all at the same time!

Time for bed, my body needs SLEEEP.

My belly is now beginning to look pregnant. I bought stretchy panel jeans. I love them. Comfort is of the utmost importance. I don't care how silly they look.

I'm feeling very lucky, no morning sickness and mostly I just feel a bit more hungry and a bit more tired. The ultrasound went well - everything right where it was supposed to be, bits wise and measurement wise. They won't tell you the sex of the baby in BC - something to do with it not being medically necessary for a healthy pregnancy and it is considered to be gender discrimination. Ok. Whatever. Ah well, I truly don't care - we have what we have.... so we have to wait until the birth to find out the gender, for millions of years that was the way - and it's pretty much the coolest surprise you could ever have!

Still feeling boy feelings and the name Ethan is stuck in my head... even though I'm not all that fond of the name... there are others that I like much better.

Time for sleep. Just spent the last few hours with my nearly 6 year old nephew. He's got so much energy! I'm ready to SLEEP.

Goodnight!

Too good to be true....

It had to be. The first firing of my kiln today and it didn't reach temperature in 9 1/2 hours. I shut it down. Should I have been more patient? I may have somehow caused the kiln to stall out in mid firing range, but I don't know. I will call Cress tomorrow and see if they can tell me if what I did (turned it up manually when the firemate control was automatically turning it up) could have caused it to stall out. If not, I'll have to try testing to see if all the elements are truly working or not.

A bit disappointing, but not too bad. The room got really hot - walls, ceiling... they are all going to have to be protected. I'm tired. I have to go to work tomorrow and, once again, I don't want to. It'll be alright once I get going, but I don't feel excited about it at this point. I'd rather solve this kiln mystery!!!

FACK!

In other news, I fenced off the small raised beds that we have because somebody's dog has been digging things up and one of my hostas is missing in action. Could be my dog, likely not, though. At least they don't have the option to dig it up anymore.

Off to bed.